Because I don't have social media I don't get to post my vacations. I don't get to show off the nice beach I saw, or the hike I did. Or the dinner I had with my friends. Or the clothes I bought. I don't get to post my job online. I don't have ways to get the social validation. And because of that I think I haven't done as much stuff for other people.
If you generalize the idea is that when you strip yourself of feedback loops that bring external validation, you lose touch with external motivators. You don't habituate patterns that bring that validation. Just like we are creatures of incentives we are also creatures of validation-laden feedback loops
This explains the hyper achiever. You were in a system that constantly validated you for winning. So you have now worked to get good grades, to get good extra curriculars, to win the prize, to get into the elite university, to get the impressive job. Obviously the thing you will do next will be for external validation as well! What do you expect?
You are so good at getting externally validated it has consumed you
Because I don't have social media I don't get to post my va…
There is certainly more social validation irl, but the shape of social media validation is closer to a stadium or arena setting. The validation of the stranger feels qualitatively different. People you know irl know you in idiosyncratic ways and judge you based on what they already know. The stranger has nothing to go off of, and thus you have way more ability to influence.