The voice in my head, downstream of an unconscious force, becomes louder by the day. I feel an impulse to devote myself to some greater project, some greater mission. To do something of impact and importance. I don't know how satisfied I am living for day to day enjoyment and leisure, and for the regulation of positive affect emotions (joy, love, peace, etc.). There is larger thread that permeates it all. The urge to conquer. Maybe the urge to power.