The arrival fallacy is the belief that reaching a specific life goal will bring lasting happiness and fulfillment. Many of the goals we set for ourselves rest on this fallacy. We delay happiness to a time when some condition X or Y is finally met. Once I …, then I’ll finally be happy. This could be finding a life partner, acquiring material possessions, climbing in status, conquering a vice, etc.

Look at the goals you have accomplished. A subset of them promised lasting happiness. Were those promises kept? Obviously not. The happiness was fleeting. But the next one is different, right?

Be cautious of false promises. Avoid the arrival fallacy because it is not consistent with reality. It reminds me of the Penrose stairs. You can keep climbing but you are not going anywhere.

It is important to become aware of how your goals have failed you. Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate. You need to be aware before you can change.

The opposite of doing something because it will get you “somewhere” is curiosity.

Curiosity means working on something without expectation. Curiosity is like “following your nose.” It requires listening to your instincts. What are you naturally drawn towards? What seems interesting? Not because it promises you something. Not for any reason, actually.

Relying on curiosity is an infinite game that you can’t lose. By infinite I mean that curiosity does not see a destination, unlike games subject to the arrival fallacy. There is no condition for the game to end. And you can’t lose them because what does failure look like? If you play the game you cannot lose. Even though there is no condition for victory curiosity is still a game because it feels like play.

Curiosity is also an infinite fuel source. It grows the more you use it. It does not get depleted because curiosity is not exhausting. This is a robust system. You know what’s fragile? Using willpower. It’s very finite. The man who loves walking will walk further than the man who loves the destination. I would bet on the curious man over the ambitious man.

The real problem is that we find ourselves incurious. There is a sense that we have explored what there is to see. Nothing else is worth visiting. It is time to focus and narrow in. We find ourselves in societal structures that suppress curiosity. We find ourselves around people who are uninterested.

Social networks are especially guilty. They inspire envy: the need to “catch up,” or to acquire something others have. They trigger our mimetic tendencies; we are, without knowing, downloading desires from the internet. This is one of the reasons I feel the need to withdraw from life online. Do not let other people’s desires crowd out your natural curiosities.

Curiosity must be actively cultivated. We must intentionally design environments that protect it. That’s not dilutive, it’s just being high agency. You are aligned with reality: curiosity is fragile. Left to nature, it will wither away.